Fatherhood is Modeling

Real men are being watched everywhere they go. Especially in their home.

How a man conducts himself with his family becomes the model his children will measure themselves by. How he treats his wife shapes her understanding of what a real man is.

When a real man is absent from the home there is no model to learn from and follow for the children. The children suffer an identity crisis and grow up with more insecurities. The mother is forced to take on the role of the missing man (which is impossible) and become the only model of manhood in the household.

Just me typing it makes me cringe. It saddens my heart to witness so many women forced to take on a role they have no clue about. Pressured to be something they were never created to be. All because some boy didn’t answer the call to evolve into a man. To exude the same commitment to his own offspring that the mother has to.

Only a man can model fatherhood. It is his calling.

It is this model of fatherhood that is needed in every single home. Children and wives need to see fatherhood modeled in their home by the man they love and trust. Daughters will look to their father for different reasons than sons will. Same goes for wives. But they are all in need of a model.

I have personally seen the fruits of effectively modeling fatherhood in my home. While I can make a laundry list of ways I believe my presence has changed the home, I have found one reason far more important than the rest. It is the fact that my relationship with my children is showing them how to have a relationship with God.

Me loving on them with affection and discipline makes it easier for them to receive the same from their heavenly Father. The way I provide and protect gives them a feeling of security that is only magnified with a true relationship with Christ.

My son chose to get baptized at the tender age of 9. My wife and I didn’t force it on him or even talk much about it to him. But I know it was my presence in the home that allowed that to be considered by him at such a young age. My relationship with God is a model that he was watching and desired for himself.
So my job as a father (the same goes for every man) is to not only lead our children through life, but to lead them to Christ.

When my son was baptized it was one of the most amazing feelings I’ve ever felt. Not just because he’s one step closer to eternal life in heaven, but it also served as a stamp of approval to my modeling. Every man should have the opportunity to experience that same feeling.

This is the importance of modeling. Every member of your family is impacted by how you model fatherhood in the following ways.

Modeling For Sons

Every man’s dream is for their son to want to be like them or better. They desire for their son to look up to them as the greatest man who has ever lived. It does something to my heart when I hear my son using phrases I use or catch him intently watching how I walk, dress, or treat his mother. It let’s me know he’s taking mental notes that will one day be his guide in becoming a man.

A young man looks at his father for some of the following reasons:

  • Identify what a man is. He knows he will eventually be one so he will be forever looking to his father for instruction.
  • How to conduct himself. Kicking it with the guys, serving in church, work, marriage, etc. are all areas that a son will look to his father for guidance on how to properly conduct himself as a man.
  • How to treat women. Heavy topic here. How a man treats the women in his life will be directly related to how he witnessed his mother being treated as a child. If he witnesses his father protect and love his mother, he will long to do the same for his wife.

Modeling For Daughters

Daughters will always hold a special place in their father’s heart. No man can defy the powers that a daughter has on softening his heart. I know I couldn’t. Right now my daughter is 7 years old and she still longs to sleep in the bed with me. She is used to waking up and going to sleep with a hug and kiss from Daddy. I want her to feel that love and security daily. Every man desires for their daughters to realize for themselves just how beautiful they are and to settle for nothing but the best.

A young woman looks at her father for some of the following reasons:

  • How to be treated. It is so important for a man to be affectionate towards his daughter. It will teach her how to receive love without giving up her body in return. Treating a daughter like a princess helps shape her expectation of how other men should treat her.
  • Understand her worth. A woman’s insecurities can be minimized by her father reiterating her beauty and value. It holds so much weight coming from the mouth of her Daddy. Ultimately it will enable her to walk in her worth instead of searching for it.
  • What a husband looks like. Without a father most women will date practically any type of man in an effort to figure out what a real man is. When a father is present a daughter’s perception of manhood is already shaped. She doesn’t go out searching for it, she evaluates it when it finds her. She sees the true happiness from her mother and knows what man created it. That becomes the model of manhood every man will have to live up to.

Modeling For Wives

With so many women growing up without a father, it is that much more important that every man understand that their wife is looking to them for a true definition of a man. For the women who did have a father in the home, they are looking for confirmation to what they have experienced as true from growing up. Either way a man must never forget that he is a model of manhood for his wife as well.

A wife looks to her husband for the following reasons:

  • Leadership. Women desire to be led. No woman wants to feel like she has to lead her family when there is a man present in the home.
  • Confidence. A man must confidently model fatherhood. Women are looking for a man who can figure it out, make tough decisions, and do whatever it takes to make it happen. As a man you must be confident you can.
  • Love. Every woman desires to experience true love. A love that encompasses her entire being, not just her body or what she can do for you. Only a real man can provide that to her.
  • Security. It is a man’s job to make sure his wife feels secure at all times by any means possible.
  • Affection. Women want a man to be in tune with his emotions enough to comfort her in hers. Some sensitivity to what she is dealing with big or small.

It is important to remember that the role of a father is a necessity in life.

This is a great responsibility and opportunity for every father. Understanding that their presence at home can drastically change the trajectory of their children’s lives and fulfill their wives internally with what they desire most.

Take some time and reflect on what your fatherhood is modeling for your family. Are you satisfied with the fruits? Would love to hear your perspective on the importance of modeling fatherhood in the comment area below.